When work feels close to life

The reactionary media’s line on sex offenders is “lock ‘em up and throw away the key”, but for Maria*, a probation officer working in that field, it’s more about unlocking and opening up minds

Convicted sex offenders rarely reoffend. Very high risk offenders can get indeterminate sentences but the vast majority are highly motivated to change their behaviour.

Working as a probation officer on a sex offender group work programme is very rewarding. Low self-esteem and lack of social skills are risk factors for when men feel more emotionally congruent with children. Over a two-year programme, clients examine their offending in depth, focusing on their thoughts, feelings, attitudes and core beliefs. Modules include victim empathy, the role of fantasy in offending and relationship and attachment styles. They develop their social skills and become more aware of other people. Empathy is a huge deterrent to reoffending.

Paedophilia isn’t a mental illness, and it’s offensive to people with mental illness to suggest that it is, but it can be a maladaptive way of coping with mental illness. Many clients are in a very dark place when they offend and as I have bipolar disorder I can empathise with that depression and isolation and help them figure out strategies to deal with it.

Some probation officers see clients as stuck where they are but I see potential for change. I think this comes from my experience of bipolar disorder and seeing my own progress in building my confidence.

Shame is a big factor in motivating offenders to change their behaviour, however I’ve experienced a very unhelpful sense of shame about having bipolar disorder. It comes from the stigma of mental illness as weakness, as ducking responsibility for your actions. Once, in my psychiatrist’s waiting room, I ran into a client’s social worker and mumbled to avoid answering her when she asked what I was doing there.

I was wary of disclosing my condition to colleagues but through being more open I’ve realised I’ve nothing to be ashamed of. Colleagues are initially intrigued and then forget about it as it’s not that important. I do wait until I get to know someone first before telling them.

In the initial stage of hypo-mania when I’m buzzing, the energy transfers to the group and I can have helpful insights and lots of ideas. I’ll have a few really good sessions but eventually I get frazzled and stressed.

Last year, before allowing me to re-register as a probation officer (usually just an annual formality) the Social Care Council asked for a detailed report on the impact of my condition on my work. I felt that I was having to justify my ability to do my job but far from having a negative impact, bipolar disorder makes me a better probation officer.

* Identity protected for professional reasons