People say the strangest things

Fed up of the odd, personal, random, annoying or just plain rude questions total strangers feel able to ask her, Emma Crees has decided to take retaliatory action

This may sound bizarre, but I’m giving serious thought to going up to strangers on the street and asking them very personal questions! I don’t know why but people see my wheelchair and ask me all sorts of personal questions. I figured I should take advantage of this new craze to ask questions of strangers.

Questions about why I’m in a wheelchair are common. People have wondered, “what happened to you?” and I’ve not realised what they meant.

I was checking if my clothes were done up, did I have food round my mouth when they clarified “the wheelchair” as if it was obvious.

A man on holiday asked me “from what point down don’t you work?” I sat there staring at him, then eventually told him that I couldn’t really say. He was surprised by that, but I was shocked by the question.

When I’m out people stop me to ask if I know where Shopmobility is. I understand that a powerchair-user is an obvious person to ask. Or where my chair is from – I’ve done the same to other disabled people as I’m always on the look out for cool wheelchairs. The man who then went on to ask, “as you’re by yourself how will you manage if you need the loo?” went too far though! I snapped “perfectly well” then took off.

It’s not just me either. A friend was asked how she had sex in a wheelchair. She said she didn’t. We’re still not sure if the person got what she meant.

I’ve heard of disabled people being told they should wear black armbands so they stand out, and of others who were told not to have children “in case they’re like you.”

One of the bad things about all the things people say is the way it takes an ordinary day and makes it all about my disability. I’m doing my shopping and it’s all fine until I suddenly have to deal with a staff member saying, “I hope you get better soon.”

Personally, I don’t want a cure. There’s nothing wrong with my being in a wheelchair!

The worst thing is the way I always think of the good response ages afterwards. Once on a train with my dad he was asked about me. One of the questions was “can she hear and speak?” I wish I’d replied, “I did just hear how rude you were.”

I answer most people but sometimes I’d prefer not to. I don’t know how to stop it and that makes me mad! Hopefully one day it’ll stop but in the meantime if you see a wheelchair-user going up to people asking if they need help, when they last had sex or such like, it’s probably me. Come say hi (just don’t ask silly questions!)