Holding on to family ties

For many young disabled people, going off to college brings the first real taste of independence from family. But for Anuya Pai, things were slightly different as she adopted a different approach to meeting her care and support needs

On my first day of university in 2007, I was like any other new student; apprehensive and excited about what lay ahead in the days, months and years to come. There was only one thing that made me different from my peers: I had my dad by my side.

I have had cerebral palsy for my whole life following complications that occurred as a result of my premature birth. CP is a neurological condition that affects movement and coordination. It has varying consequ­ences and degrees of severity. In my case, I am unable to stand or walk and use an electric wheelchair.

I had always known that I wanted to attend university. I felt that although I might be lacking certain physical capabilities, I had been given a good brain and I intended to use it.

When I was accepted into university at 18, my parents and I began considering the care options that would be available to me during my time as a student in higher education. After much thought, my parents concluded that they were uncomfortable with the idea of my being tended to by a stranger and so the decision was made that my dad would leave his job to attend university with
me as my carer.

We were fortunate enough to be provided with wonderful accommodation that includes a walk-in shower and adjoining rooms so my dad is just a call away if I need him during the night. This has proved to be very helpful over the years, particularly during my first year when the fire alarm was regularly set off accidentally in the early hours of the morning and everybody had to exit the building in their pyjamas!

The idea of taking a parent to university with you might seem strange to students who relish the freedom of living away from home for the first time and view this as an opportunity to cut the proverbial apron strings. I am sometimes asked by people if I find my dad’s presence to be a hindrance in social situations. It may come as a surprise to know that, in fact, friends and staff alike have embraced my dad wholeheartedly. He is met by others, not with bewilderment, but rather, admiration for the depth of his sacrifice.

It is true that my time at university may be in stark contrast to that of other students, but it has been no less enlightening. I have learnt a great deal about the things of which I am capable and forged meaningful friendships.

The fact that my dad has been with me every step of the way just makes the experience all the more special.