Discomfort station

Harrassment in the toilet is no longer something that only happens to children at school. It can also be a worry for people throughout their adult lives

I’m Alice. I’m into fashion, handbags, perfume, book groups and promoting advocacy. I was born male and lived content for many years as a male, but during my teenage years I felt I was born in the wrong body.

When I started to cross-dress people said: “That’s wrong! You were born male; stay male!” I cross-dressed as a woman for many years until I reached the stage where I wanted to live as a woman in daily life around the clock. I couldn’t pretend any more. I wanted to wear a bra, make-up, feminine clothes and perfume and have a handbag!

Now I live as a woman and receive hormone treatment, but I’m having toilet trouble: which one do I use?

Using public toilets in high heels is like entering the lions’ den. People try to take photos of me, bang on the door and chase me out in an intimidating manner.

I opt to use the disabled toilet. It’s safer and it’s only one person per entry, so when I close the door, no one can enter my space until I leave. I feel justified in using the disabled toilet because I am disabled: I have a learning disability. Plus, not being able to use male or female public toilets disables me, so I strongly believe I have the right to use disabled toilets.

Recently at my local bus station I ran into difficulties. I asked for the Radar key to use the disabled toilet but the woman refused to give it to me because, she said, I wasn’t disabled and didn’t have a key of my own. I could see she wanted an argument.

It wouldn’t be so bad if the bus station staff could accept my gender situation, but they put me in the same category as a drunk. They’ve been told of my situation and told not to bother me but they make fun of me and laugh at me.

I felt upset and annoyed but I had no choice but give in and use the male toilets, giving the staff the entertainment of watching the misery I had to go through. Using the male toilets, I’m always scared of being attacked, beaten up or even sexually assaulted. I also dread young people mocking me.

On this occasion, the staff knew a lot of school kids might come in and see me. Luckily, I was able to use a toilet that became free in safety. This was no thanks to the bus station staff who gave me no support or respect. The next day I pushed for a Radar key and got it. I asked the obvious question: if I can’t use the male, female or disabled toilets, where do you expect me to go? Answers on a postcard please!

•Alice asks anyone wishing to contact her to get in touch via Disability Now