Choices in the hear and now

Blogger and disability trainer Maria Zedda objected to the idea of medicine doing all it could to eliminate disability, until she found out that she could stay true to herself while still respecting other people’s quite different life choices

I’ve never liked the idea of cochlear implants (CI). Apart from the risks with the surgery (three hours, invasive) I know I wouldn’t suddenly be transformed into a “hearing” person.

Recognising sounds and words would continue to be exhausting and frustrating. More importantly, the idea doesn’t appeal because my deafness is part of who I am. I don’t want to be “cured” of being me.

So when I watched the documentary Hear and Now recently, I wondered what could have prompted two bright and successful Deaf people (as the subjects Paul and Sally definitely are) to suddenly decide to get implants at the age of 65.

They’d lived their whole lives without hearing. Both retired after successful careers. Paul, an engineer, helped invent the Minicom and Sally had been a teacher and secretary. Why would they want to go through with such risky surgery?

When I was a teenager, I might have gone for implants too, but they didn’t exist then. I grew up in Italy and was desperate to hear like everyone else. I hated being different and the low expectations that my family, friends and teachers had of me. The oppression I felt was one reason why I ran away from home 18 years ago to come and live in London.

Now I’m more confident and proud of who I am, deafness and all. I don’t worry about asking people to make adjustments for me and when I feel oppressed it’s not because of my impairment but because of the discrimination I get.

And so I cringe at sensa­tionalist media reports of medical “advances” that will allow disabled people to elongate their legs or get implanted with bionic ears and eyes – like the “plug and play” hearing restoration promised recently by developments in stem cell research.

Sometimes it feels as if medicine would do anything to help eliminate the dreaded tragedy of disability.

And yet watch­ing Paul and Sally’s life stories unfold, and realising how much we had in common as hearing-impaired people, made me realise that ultimately, whatever their reason for choosing CI, I shouldn’t be judgemental.

Their candidacy for CI had nothing in common with mine. I might have chosen CI because of my insecurity as a teenager but their choice was motivated by other issues.

So the film confirmed my thoughts on implants for myself but made me realise that other people have their own motives for medical intervention.

• Follow Maria's blog at http://blog.wideaware.co.uk