Top model, still missing

More than a year on, Kelly Knox tells Lara Masters that she’s still battling for recognition despite winning Britain's Missing Top Model

I know I’m hot! But I’d never considered being a model. I entered Britain’s Missing Top Model (BMTM) because I thought it would be fun. It wasn’t until the final that it clicked; I loved dressing up and being in front of the camera and I really wanted to be a model.

“When I won the show, I was signed to the Take Two model agency. With all the publicity from the show, it shouldn’t have been difficult to sell me but I felt the agency didn’t really care about the opportunity we had to push me, a disabled model, and really make a difference. A few months after the show, when things didn’t take off, I had to go back to my full-time job in credit control.

When Take Two folded, it gave me an opportunity to find an agent who’d believe in me. Since joining Lethal Model Management in February I’ve had much more work but not nearly enough to leave my office job. The modelling jobs that I’ve got have mostly been people asking specifically for me and my disability: I played the part of a zombie who’s bitten off their arm in an internet commercial for Samsung, and did a fashion shoot in Germany with a designer who’s an amputee. I also did a shoot for an LA-based jewellery designer who liked my look and didn’t know I had a disability. When she found out she referred to me as a “breath of fresh air” in the industry.

It’s frustrating that I’ve been unable to model full-time and that the fashion industry struggles to see disability as sellable, but it makes me more determined to pursue my real passion to be a role model.

With the modelling I can only do so much. I can’t spread the word about equality and positivity just through people looking at a photo.

I’ve always been very confident and outgoing. Being born with one arm didn’t make me shy and I never “hid” my arm from the world. Perhaps naively, I assumed that everyone felt like I did and accepted their own and other people’s differences but I discovered that there are many disabled people who are negatively affected by their disability.

I got messages from viewers saying how much I’d inspired them to be more confident and it opened up my eyes to how important it is to have disabled role models in the media.

But I’m aware that being a role model comes with responsibilities and when I saw footage of me drunk and misbehaving on the programme, it rang alarm bells. Someone close to me is an alcoholic, so I know how destructive alcohol can be. I still go out partying and dancing but I don’t drink at all now.

I was asked to give a talk at REACH (The Association for Children with Hand or Arm Deficiency) and I could see that some of the children were insecure and shy and I just wanted to drag that shyness out of them. I gave them practical advice like how I tied my shoelaces and I talked about my childhood.

Having one hand didn’t stop me from doing anything; by the time I was five I could ride a bike without stabilisers and when I wanted to skip I cut off one end of the skipping rope and tied it round my arm and skipped. The speech went down so well I got a standing ovation.

Recently I did some artwork for Action for Children along with celebrities like Joanna Lumley and Gemma Atkinson. I drew a picture of myself with my eyes closed (before BMTM) and another of me with my eyes open (after BMTM). My eyes are now as wide as wide can be and I know what my purpose is.

I don’t call myself “disabled” because I don’t like the divide that labels cause. Equality should be a natural way of life and I hope that one day it will be. I want to help that process and be a pioneer for humanity! Hopefully in the near future, I’ll be able to give up my office job and work solely to help make society more accepting for us all and assist humanity in its evolutionary process.