Public person private mum

On camera and in public, Cerrie Burnell is a bringer of songs and stories to pre-school children. She is also known as a holder of strong views on women’s and disabled people’s rights. Here she talks to Ian Macrae about balancing those two parts of her life while also managing a third, as a mother of her own child

Slightly more than two and a half years ago, Cerrie Burnell was a disabled woman, an aspiring actor and a single mother. She very soon added another dimension to that profile. Presenter on the BBC’s younger children’s TV channel CBeebies.

Since then she’s also found herself playing the apparently conflicting roles of bête noire of a small section of the CBeebies audience who was also vehemently defended by the Daily Mail.

Back then she told me, “There aren’t enough disabled people on telly. The fact that I’m one of the first [disabled] presenters, that’s what should be shocking.”

Almost three years on she appears comfortable in a variety of guises. Speaker on disabled people’s rights, advocate for empowerment of women. Both a public and private person.

So how did all this begin? She’s quick to correct me when I suggest that surely not many young disabled people would sit at home imagining themselves as children’s TV presenters.

“I think lots of young disabled people would imagine themselves as an actor or TV presenter,” she says.

“It was just something I wanted to do. People go on a lot about the term role model, but I think if you’ve got a passion for something, you don’t necessarily need someone to look up to.”

Perhaps unusually for someone who now works in children’s television, Cerrie didn’t spend her own childhood glued to the box.

“We didn’t have a telly till I was eight or nine so I didn’t watch telly. And we didn’t really listen to the radio much. I was out more, going to drama classes and actually doing it rather than being inspired, watching someone else doing it.

Not that she lacked encouragement. In addition to her mother, one teacher in particular recognised and nurtured her creativity, helping her overcome what Cerrie herself describes as severe dyslexia.

“She would give up her lunch-times and I would narrate a story and she would write it down. She really made sure that I was never left out even though I was years behind the other children. But in terms of learning and communication I was top of the class.”

She also found inspiration as she approached her own womanhood.

“In terms of being a strong person, a strong woman, I remember when I read books by Maya Angelou, that made me think, ‘Wow, if she can do this, I can do anything’”.

Along the same sort of lines, she admires people from the acting profession, not just for the sorts of performance they turn in, but for the kind of person they are.

“Someone I think I’ve looked up to since I was a teenager would be Kate Winslet because I love her style. People like her are very true to themselves, very individual, and have managed to cut a path away from the norm.”

Breaking into performance – whether it’s acting in Ibsen or presenting on children’s TV – is a daunting challenge for anyone. Ask any actor about turning up at auditions which ended up being a lot shorter than they would have liked, and they’re likely to say, “Tell me about it!” For a young aspiring disabled performer, it must have been very easy to be discouraged by the possibility of other people’s negative perceptions and assumptions. But such was Cerrie’s self-belief, ambition and drive that such thoughts never occurred to her.

“When I was 18, I didn’t consider that for a second. Probably I was being naïve but I think naïvety has been my greatest strength sometimes.

“Probably my whole life I’ve been spurned by doubters, but I didn’t think about it and it’s not something I think about now.

”I haven’t got time in my head to take on other people’s negative connotations of me.”

And so, when the chance to be a CBeebies presenter came along, Cerrie was not about to cut off any options.

“I was always interested in acting more than presenting, but when the opportunity came up to be a children’s presenter, that too really interested me.”

And now she finds it brings its own reward.

“With children’s TV, you’re allowed that freedom and that joy to just let yourself go and be a child. That’s what I love about it.”

She also cherishes the opportunity which being regularly on television offers her as a disabled woman trying to make her way and her name in a competitive and sometimes hugely judgemental industry.

“I don’t think you can underestimate the media and, if you’re a recognised face, people within the industry are more likely to give you a chance.”

Cerrie leaves you in no doubt that she remains as ambitious and driven now as she was as that teenager with a dream. But she seems to have also reached a point of balance where she takes and enjoys what she currently has for what it brings her.

“I’d like to go on and work in film,” she says. “That would be my dream, but I’m really enjoying all of the steps along the way. I’m really happy being a children’s TV presenter. I’m just making the most of all of the opportunities and all of the loveliness that that brings.”

Nevertheless, as a disabled person among what the BBC refers to as “The Talent”, she is in a small, a very small, minority. So does she ever feel like a fish in a tree?

“No, never! I don’t think I’ve ever felt like a fish in a tree. I don’t think about it. I’m just doing it. Perhaps it’s that my impairment isn’t particularly physically restricting. Also, I’m very vocal. If there’s something I don’t like or can’t do, I’ll always be the first to say.”

Those of us who’ve seen her operating outside her CBeebies role know that she is someone who will speak out as something of an activist and advocate for change. But to what extent do these two different personas conflict with each other?

“It’s quite useful in a way”, says Cerrie. “It gives me two very different approaches. One is a child-friendly, inclusive, let’s-celebrate-difference approach. The other is far more about empowering young people, disabled people and women to accept their body.”

And when she talks about body image, self-image and perception, she’s not coming only from the perspective of a disabled woman. She tells me about work she’s doing with a project called Body Gossip which encourages women and men to explore their relationship with their body.

“I’ve written a story for that which is about my relationship with my body, particularly since becoming a mother. It does change you hugely. Your breasts never look the same. So I feel really lucky to be able to speak to mothers as a mother because it’s not just young children I have a bond with. I’m coming into contact with parents all the time too, and that means I can inspire people to take a step back from this whole hyped, media-frenzied image of how a woman should look which is pushed upon us.”

So here we have someone who, to some extent, is entirely comfortable being defined by how people see her. Indeed, making the most of what that allows her to do and the kinds of things she’s able to say in public.

At the same time, there’s another aspect of that with which she’s less comfortable. And that too is connected to her being a mother who is also a children’s TV presenter.

“Something that I sometimes find challenging is when, as a single mother, I’m with my daughter in a public place, a water park or something like that. I’m always really happy to say hello to any of the CBeebies viewers, that’s always a joy to me. But sometimes that catches me off guard.

“There’s an assumption that I perhaps have a nanny or chauffeur, that I have a different life from the one I have. Whereas the reality is we live in a very small flat with no garden, in a city, and I’m a single mum the same as millions of other women and mothers who get up, do it all, to work. Sometimes, in those moments, where I look exhausted, my hair’s a mess and I’m covered in sun cream and sand, I’m still always going to be viewed as the TV presenter rather than as a mum. CBeebies presenters are recognised a lot. That’s come as a surprise to me.

“Having a young child, that is sometimes a bit tricky to balance, because to her, I’m her mum.”