Government mulls Fool Fest Ban

Gill Gulpeb

The Government has said that it is considering abolishing April Fools Day following calls from a pressure group.

The Association of People with Radical Incredulity Loss, (APRIL) says people should think about the impact the tradition has on the gullible.  The Association’s Chair, Isha Gilotof told Disability Now: “To set aside a day to harass and dupe vulnerable people is cruel and barbaric. This tradition should be condemned as strongly as dwarf tossing.”

A Government spokesperson said: “Those deficient in common sense need to be afforded the same consideration as people with other sensory impairments.”

This call for greater sensitivity to the plight of the trusting comes at a time when they are at their most beleaguered, as Ms Gilotof explains: “Everyone knows that a fool and his money are soon parted, so the recession has hit us particularly hard. This economic downturn comes on the heels of all those email scams people had ploughed their savings into. We’ve had enough. It’s time to call it a day for April Fools’”

To finance its campaign April is releasing a fundraising folk album called Political Correctness Gone Trad, and is calling for high profile support from the members of the Royal Family known to the fake sheik, and from celebrities who have worked with Chris Morris.

To fellow naifs, Gilotof issues the following advice for surviving 1 April: “Trust no one! Last year my own mother told me that that fish were being genetically modified to have chips on their shoulders. The year before she said I was adopted and my real parents were Jeremy Clarkson and Carol Thatcher. My father died believing spaghetti grows on trees.”

“Stay indoors and be a fool unto yourself until noon; don’t answer the phone; and do not, under any circumstances, switch on your computer.”