I'm a celebrity... get me a fake disability

Reality TV looked close to plumbing new depths when a suggestion was floated that celebs could adopt a disability for a week to get a flavour of our lives. Ian Macrae wasn’t the only one put out

The horror, the horror is a phrase which risks being overused since Joseph Conrad coined it. But it pretty much sums up the almost universal reaction to an email sent to the United Kingdom Disabled Peoples Council (UKDPC) recently.

It originated from an employee of an independent production company and asked whether UKDPC could suggest any “disabilities” which the company could “recreate”, for celebrities taking part in a potential TV show. Needless to say, UKDPC chose not to help.

So, apart from the obvious potential for comedy material – which celeb would you really like to really disable, how and with what – just why were they, we and some well-known disabled personalities aghast?

Because, as a reality TV idea, it has absolutely no relationship to reality.

It’s like the idea, currently being touted to the gullible British public by the Royal National Institute of Blind People that closing your eyes for a few seconds gives you an idea of what it’s like to lose or have never had sight. Take it from me, it doesn’t. Any more than sitting in a wheelchair, putting in ear plugs or having one arm tied behind your back gives any idea of what it’s like to be disabled in other ways for real.

It also shows that, where disability is concerned, people still appear to have the nerve for anything. Imagine sitting opposite a TV commissioning executive and suggesting that you had this idea for a bunch of guys to dress up, stick padded bras over their moobs, put on a bit of slap and speak in high voices in order to discover what life is like for women. It’s to be hoped you’d be laughed out of the office.

Once the story had been tweeted out, someone, not from the company but acquainted with them, told us that this was a genuine attempt to explain the social model of disability to viewers. How does that work?

The whole point about the social model, except that it’s generally regarded as a bit of a blunt instrument these days, is that it explicitly says that it’s society, not our individual or even our collective impairments which disable us.

Celebs in wheelchairs, simulation specs or any other kind of got-up fake situation would remain what they are. People pretending.