How prison saved my bacon

For many people with mental health problems, prison can be traumatic and degrading. But former prisoner Tracy Mackness, who now runs her own business, The Giggly Pig Company, shows that with the right support, people can survive the system

When I first went into prison, I went into Highpoint, before later moving to an open prison. The medical team were very aware of the issues in the real world, and especially aware of the problems affecting women in particular.

A lot of women have children, and a lot more are suffering from depression because of the maternal issues.

I’ve been in with women who have four children under four and they have a ten-year sentence to serve. The children are left with their grandmother, so she is getting punished as well, let alone the children. All three generations are being punished. It broke my heart.

When I first went in, I was already suffering from mental health problems, though there was counselling if I wanted it. I became a Listener, which is where you do the same training as, and are trained by, the Samaritans.

It works on a rota system of two or three people a day, and a Listener can go and sit with someone, sometimes for three or four hours at a time.

People don’t trust prison officers. Often it’s just a release to be able to sit and talk to someone and unload a lot of the rubbish that you’ve been carrying around.

It helped me realise that I wasn’t the only one going through that kind of thing.

Prison opened my eyes; I thought I was a woman of the world before I went in.

I also became what is known as an Insider. My job was to go and meet people who had been admitted to prison for the first time, and explain the situation.

There were some older women who weren’t expecting to be sentenced to prison, and I think having Insiders took a lot of stress off the officers.

On a Thursday or Friday there were often 18-20 women coming in, many of them first-timers.

It’s usually the first night that people often try and commit suicide, but if people have had that pep talk from someone and know that there will be someone around in the morning then that makes things easier.

In prison, I did all my NVQs in pig husbandry, and at the open prison they had a farm specialising in Saddleback pigs. I fell in love with them, so I also got involved with the butcher and learnt how to butcher.

I came out 20 months ago, discovered farmers’ markets and set up my business, The Giggly Pig Company.

I’m still on licence, but I only have to go every two months, because now I’ve got my own business, they’re satisfied that I’m away from that life that I had ten years ago.

I’m pleased that I managed to achieve something. In prison today, there’s every bit of help, you just have to go with it.

• Tracy Mackness was talking to Paul Carter