Shoot! Why didn't I think of that?

At last, an American company has come up with a firearm specially designed for disabled gun-toters. Paul Carter is going to look for it at the chemist’s

Now, we here at Disability Now are used to receiving press releases and launch information about all kinds of new products, initiatives and schemes, usually falling somewhere between the categories of “actually quite useful” and “eye-itchingly pointless”, with a tendency towards the latter.

However, one email that came hurtling into my webosphere the other day made my inbox twang with slightly more excitement and anticipation than usual. Actually, scrap that. I nearly wet myself.

“A small arms manufacturer in the US is taking deposits for a gun specially designed for elderly and disabled people, who may be able to get it on prescription” it said.

That’s right, a gun. An accessible gun, to be precise. Available for free to anyone like me with an arm missing or perhaps a gammy hand. Greatest. Email. Ever.

The blurb on the manufacturer’s website says that the “Palm Pistol”, which sounds disconcertingly like a 1990s portable computer, is an “ergonomically innovative single-shot double-action-only defensive firearm chambered in 9mm that may be fired using either hand without regard to orientation of the stock.”

It gets better. Apparently it’s suited for “home defence, concealed carry or as a backup gun”. A backup gun!

“It is also ideal for seniors, disabled or others who may have limited strength or manual dexterity. Using the thumb instead of the index finger for firing, it significantly reduces muzzle drift, one of the principal causes of inaccurate targeting. Point and shoot couldn’t be easier.” I have to say, muzzle drift has been a long-standing problem of mine. Being able to reach things in the supermarket and open a jar of jam pale into insignificance to the ole muzzle drift issue.

According to Sky News, Matthew Carmel, president of the wonderfully named Constitution Arms in New Jersey said: “It’s something that they need to assist them in daily living.“ Seriously, this stuff just writes itself.

The best part about the whole thing, though, is that the company is trying to get it approved in America as a medical device. If it proves to be successful, it means that Americans might be able to get the gun on Medicaid.

By way of simple comparison, that would be like your local Jobcentre handing out chuffing great machetes to everyone on Incapacity Benefit. Come to think of it, that might actually be necessary if things carry on the way they are. Keep the hordes at bay.

Going for a job could end up becoming like some form of Battle Royale, where people have to fight to the death for a job cleaning the stale sugar from the empty pick ’n’ mix trays at Woolworths. Except us disableds would of course get a head start by being given big bugger-off adapted weapons, while everyone else has to make do with a bin lid or an old kettle.

For now though, it looks like we’ll have to queue up for jobs like everyone else, as sales of the Palm Pistol are restricted to domestic US citizens with a firearm licence. Only in America, eh?