A three-legged friend

Paul Carter can’t make up his mind whether he fancies an assistance dog or a dog that needs assistance

When you work at Disability Now, it’s quite difficult not to think about dogs, as I’m based in a building where there are almost as many dogs as people.

There are assistance dogs of all shapes and sizes here, and I’ve long been tempted to try and swing one for myself. The main problem is, well, I don’t really need one.

Still, a dog doesn’t have to be an assistance dog, does it? An old-fashioned pet-dog would do. It’s been 15 years since I lost my last dog (he died, I didn’t leave him in Lidl) and I think I’m ready to move on.

So, what sort should I get? I know they say dogs often resemble their owners, so I initially thought about a greyhound. I’m sure you did too, based on your understandable assumptions that I’m slim, athletic and full of energy.

I was quite drawn to a retired racing dog. Apparently, contrary to popular belief, they’re actually extremely lazy and due to living in kennels all of their life, don’t cope with stairs and are scared of common household appliances.

We’d be a perfect fit.

Thing is, I came to the conclusion that going out walking with a dog that was a) fitter than me and b) probably the same height, wouldn’t help much towards fulfilling my secondary reason for getting a canine companion – female attention. For that side of the deal, I’d need a dog with the “awww” factor.

That only leaves one option, an option that came to me via that now ubiquitous of social media, Twitter. One of the “people” I follow (that’s Twitter lexicon for the uninitiated, I’m not a stalker) is the quite wonderful canine welfare charity, Dogs Trust, which specialises in, among other things, re-homing unwanted and abandoned dogs. Brilliantly, they have a section for “special needs” (their words not mine) dogs, which utterly blows my mind. I don’t know if the social model applies to dogs, but I don’t care, they’re all the cutest most amazing things I’ve ever seen.

I’ve already fallen in love with a dog called Sharon (even the names are great), who only has one front leg.

According to her bio, she needs a home where she doesn’t have to do much walking and will have plenty of time to relax without children being around. Check on all fronts, clearly.

Can you imagine the adulation a bloke with no legs walking a dog with one leg would get? That’s right off the scale!